I have noticed some weird happenings between Russia and Canada. Usually larger countries just make fun of Russia behind its back and move on, but Canada has been different. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and President Vladimir Putin have been buddy buddy lately from what I have seen. I, Benjamin Agos, am launching a full inquiry of their actions.
Everyone know Canadians are the kindest people full of maple syrup and Tim Hortons, so why does it seem Trudeau and Putin have a blossoming friendship all of a sudden? In order to uncover the truth I enlisted as a body guard for Prime Minister Trudeau in order to get the full background and access to information I otherwise wouldn’t have access to. Getting the body guard job was easy I have contacts from MI-6 on the inside of the Canadian government and I have an extensive resume that did the job. Of course if anything actually were to happen to Trudeau or Putin I would step in, and just in case I have my trusty umbrella with me. I was able to find out what really was going on.
When I first started to follow the two around as a body guard I noticed they would trade off countries they would meet up in to visit. They never really talked about politics just each other. It was kind of awkward at first to see these two interact because frankly Putin doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to just hang out and not try to take over the world. The first big outing I went on with them was to a Vancouver Canucks game where they suited up with the team.
Trudeau did great with the crowds, but Putin just stood around and didn’t seem to enjoy it. We all sat in a nice box and watched the rest of the game after it started. Nothing was fishy, they even shared a few high fives and fist bumps. The Canucks won and after a few beers they parted ways. I went with the Prime Minister and tried to build a repartee with him which he seemed to enjoy. He asked why I always carry an umbrella to which I replied, for whenever the unexpected happens.
The Prime Minister then took a trip to Russia where one of the items on the itinerary was a boat trip. I thought this was a little odd and dangerous, so I made sure to keep my eyes peeled. At one point while I was securing the boat and was away from everyone at the back I noticed a small ship advancing. Several men were aboard and when I radioed to get their attention they said something back but it got broken up, so all I could hear was “Trudeau, Vladimir, stop, bomb.” Naturally my first thought was a bomb was on board but the area was swept and came back clean. So I took out my umbrella released the grenade in the shaft of it and threw it at their boat when it got close enough. At that exact moment a whale at the front of the ship I was on jumped out of the water and distracted all of the passengers. Lucky right? No one heard the boat blow up and sink. Agent Agos saved the day, not to pat myself on the back or anything. I returned to the front of the boat and talked about how amazing the whale was. We went inside to get some water, but realized Trudeau and Putin did not follow us inside. I went back out to the bow and saw something amazing:
They recreated the famous scene from Titanic. Luckily I was the only one to see this moment so I went back inside with the rest of the guards and kept that little number to myself.
A few weeks passed and President Putin made his way back to Canada for a visit. This time we followed them to Vancouver Film Studios. I had no idea what these two could possibly end up doing, but I kept a look out the entire time. We stopped at a gas station because Putin needed to use the rest room, I kept guard at the doors and had to stop an armed robbery that could have gotten messy. Everyone from my party was in the restrooms so I whipped out my umbrella and opened it to use the bullet proof shield it doubles as. I hit the two robbers over the head with the reinforced pole and shut it down. No one was hurt except for the robbers. Hopefully I won’t have any bad luck from opening an umbrella indoors.
We got to the film studio and Prime Minister Trudeau had a giddy look in his eyes. Because my “role” was that of a body guard I didn’t ask any questions and waited until we got inside. It turns out that the two were being featured in a Tim Horton’s commercial. Typical Canadian idea I guess. So I stood with the director and kept watch for any suspicious activity. Trudeau seemed in his element in front of the camera, but President Putin seemed a bit shy, but got over it with some compliments and encouragement from Trudeau. Once the cameras started rolling I noticed a camera man kept reaching for something at his back. I quietly hauled him outside and searched him and found out that he had a gun on him. I hand cuffed him to a pole and gave him a small dose of sleeping serum that I keep in a compartment of the trusty umbrella and left him there to be found later. I went back inside and the President and Prime Minister were having a blast.
Putin left shortly after and I escorted him to his home in Ottawa. I told him he might not be hearing from me due to a pre-planned vacation coming up. He gave me a firm handshake and gushed about his best friend Vladimir. It took me a second to put the two together and realized that this might just be a friendship and not a horrible plan to take over the world. I asked around back at headquarters and it turns out the Trudeau makes an effort to become extremely close friends with other politicians. He has many golf outings and gets to know them and become close friends. My initial intentions were to stop them from doing anything to harm the world, but I had to stop the world from harming them. It was a strange turn of events to learn that they just have a bromance. It was very interesting to see these two interact in this way. I was very glad I got to spend time with them and was able to see the true nature of their relationship. I guess now that I don’t have to worry about these two I won’t have to take anyone to court. This was a nice break from all of the cases I have on my plate. I especially enjoyed the time I got to spend in Canada. Now that the crisis has been averted I can rest easy and keep these fond memories close to me.